I see people who think they're so strong, and that their lives are super hard... when in reality, they're just weak and outwardly emotional. They break down over little things, it's the end of their world (every time) and everyone feels super bad for them. I could be slightly wrong on this... and this doesn't apply to all weak people, but this is my perspective. I watch other people cry and I feel bad, I hear what it's all about and do my best to be who I need to be for them... but I can't help but think the majority of the time "are you serious?... that's all it is?" I hold the pain from years in and on me... and sure I need to cry like none other, but I don't really cry. When I do it's from extreme pain or stupid moments of weakness (ones that last for like 4.3 seconds) I want to break down, I want to allow myself weakness... but for that I need someone to be strong for me.
I was told the other day that I pull the "girl card" every chance I get. I wanted to stand up and scream right on the spot. But I kept my cool and asked why the opinion... I love and respect the guy who said it greatly, but he doesn't know what the HELL he's talking about! I do know, every time I pull it. It's on purpose, and very obvious. But for each time I pull it, there are about 3700 times that I don't. I am strong so damn much that I almost don't know how to be weak anymore... It's something I'm working on, and one of the things I want the most. But Like I said before, I need a person whom I know I can trust, someone to be strong for me.
I. can't. break. not now, and it doesn't look like anytime soon. I look so weak sometimes but when I do, know that it's because I can't hold a strong face which is incredibly rare for me. I'm good at acting, I'm incredible at being "happy" and "carefree" ... and even when I fail at looking strong, I still succeed in incredible ways in strength. My weakness is still stronger than anyone knows. And even my small failures in that area, are carefully mapped out in my head before I release them. When you see weakness or vulnerability in me, please realize that it's much more than you think. If I show weakness, i'm dying on the inside. If I show trust or vulnerability to you, please run the other way if you're going to decide not to give a damn later on. I'm usually pretty good at reading people... I just hate using it to my advantage. So even if I think I can trust you, I usually won't make a motion of trust until you give me some reason to think that you care. So by all means,if you want to, please be my strong person... so that I can be weak.
I was told the other day that I pull the "girl card" every chance I get. I wanted to stand up and scream right on the spot. But I kept my cool and asked why the opinion... I love and respect the guy who said it greatly, but he doesn't know what the HELL he's talking about! I do know, every time I pull it. It's on purpose, and very obvious. But for each time I pull it, there are about 3700 times that I don't. I am strong so damn much that I almost don't know how to be weak anymore... It's something I'm working on, and one of the things I want the most. But Like I said before, I need a person whom I know I can trust, someone to be strong for me.
I. can't. break. not now, and it doesn't look like anytime soon. I look so weak sometimes but when I do, know that it's because I can't hold a strong face which is incredibly rare for me. I'm good at acting, I'm incredible at being "happy" and "carefree" ... and even when I fail at looking strong, I still succeed in incredible ways in strength. My weakness is still stronger than anyone knows. And even my small failures in that area, are carefully mapped out in my head before I release them. When you see weakness or vulnerability in me, please realize that it's much more than you think. If I show weakness, i'm dying on the inside. If I show trust or vulnerability to you, please run the other way if you're going to decide not to give a damn later on. I'm usually pretty good at reading people... I just hate using it to my advantage. So even if I think I can trust you, I usually won't make a motion of trust until you give me some reason to think that you care. So by all means,if you want to, please be my strong person... so that I can be weak.
