Short Night...

The saying "Life's a short night in a bad hotel" was something I took to my core when I first heard it, and it's still there. Because as much as I try, I can't seem to figure out where God wants me next... where to go from here and how to get there. The spot that I'm stuck in isn't pleasant, lovely or fun, it's not where I want to be but I've learned a whole lot about life, pain, maturity and myself because of it. I've ranted and been upset some on this blog before, and I probably will more because I'm still in a similar place. But I'm ok. I've learned how to just be, when I'm not where I hate. If I'm somewhere that I can just be, with people I love, I'm not going to think about what I just came from and what I'm going back to. I'm going to be in the now. My facebook status the other day was "Today is the first day of my unknown future" Kind of similar to "Today is the first day of the rest of my life"... but not as stupid. I hope for a direction to show up, for my future to become less cloudy... but right now, I just have to be in better places as much as I possibly can. I'm kind of turned off to the idea of getting a job in this town (although I am trying) because even though I'd be ok with getting a job and my own place, and just waiting for a while until a guy comes along that's right... This. Is. Torrington. Population: smalish. Population of eligible good/worthy guys:close to none. Population of eligible good guys that I'm interested in: 0. So if I get a job and settle down in this town, the chances are really tiny at best that I'll Ever be able to find the right kind of guy. I've held to my standards (not unrealistic ones) and ended up with 0 dates up to now... and I'm not going to settle for a scum or idiot... or someone I legitimately am just not attracted to. Disclaimer: I know God can do anything, and send anyone my way that he wants... I'm just trying to be smart in consideration of proof I've so far seen. I know I want to go into some kind of full time ministry as well, so I don't think getting into some kind of fast food job is heading in the right direction... But I'm open  to wherever God leads me.

Holding TIGHT onto Faith, Hope and Love
Alanna Dorene Kraft