Pain in the neck

No... really, my neck hurts pretty badly right now. I have a nasty cold and I didn't get much sleep last night, so this is a day that I'd not really be up for a hardcore concert... more like a day at a spa, or in a hot-tub. Instead, I got to learn music and choreography all morning. Joy.
I've not been doing the best at devos this week. I did alot of research and studying in the word, but I think I fell short of what I should have been doing. My brother's still home and has pneumonia... so I slacked on my God time.
I got to tell someone some of my truth this week, that was... good and bad. They tried to tell me one thing was true when really, it was opposite. When I blurted out the truth, well... I was met with silence and I walked away. But, God prevails when everything is in shambles. I'm not even up to the point of shambles... closer to ashes, but God still prevails. I'm glad to know that... otherwise, I'd be somewhere entirely different, and probably wrong right now.
I'm just updating my day/week... ah well, ttyl

<3 Alanna

Clay in the works

My God is bigger, stronger, better, wiser, and more awesome than anything else... ever. I can't take any personal pride in this, but I will tell you that I don't regret choosing him as my first and all.

God, I am your lump of clay. I can't see much of my shape yet... I don't know what you're actually making me into. All I know is that you're wise and good... and you love me for some reason. You've already made me more, better, and more beautiful since you found me... but I don't have any of the definition yet. You're working me kneading me and centering me on your wheel. I don't know what I am, am I a vase?... or a cup?... or maybe something random like a cookie jar?... I'm not an ash tray... am I? I can't tell yet, it's all still so fuzzy in my viewfinder. But I do know that whatever you choose to make me into, will be all for you. Please help me to be where you want me, when you want me there. And give me the patience and strength to keep waiting in curiosity and eager anticipation... and stress and doubt sometimes. I'm waiting for your leading or calling... and I'm trying to fulfill what you have for me where I'm already at. I love you and I'm your servant. Please exalt your name through me... I want that really badly. Night

<3 Alanna

Thanks : )

Just one thing, I love it when God erases things from my life that really don't need to be there. He teaches me and allows my emotions to change. He makes me secure in who he is in me, and he fixes my stupidity. He always has the better plan.

God, that's what I want to do with my life... spend it following your map. Love you : ) Teach me more and more just what it means to give you my all. You're incredible!!!


<3 Alanna

Get over it

I need to get over myself. I catch myself all the time focusing on myself... when I say my life is all about and because of Christ. Yeah, I grew up on an annual family income of  $10k (yup... it's even less than I thought), yeah, I go without things, and yeah, I don't have alot of "normal" things that people have... but really...

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I CARE? 

I'm alive, right? Christ chose me as his daughter and paid for my idiocy yes? My only purpose is to bring glory to God. I fail so much at having my head screwed on straight... I whine and throw my own little pity parties. And yeah... I'll probably do more of that throughout my life. But if you catch me at it, please slap me and say "what the heck is wrong with you?... It's all about and because of God." *sigh* This blog basically functions as my journal. A sometimes obscure one, yeah... but it's my place to puke my everything onto a page. I usually find my head in the gutter, but even a guttered fool should have the sense to find food and shelter.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” ~ Psalm 92:1-2


...it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” ... Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. ~ John 6:32-35


Aka: he is my all... I need to realize this more and stop being such a needy brat all the time. I don't need anything... in all reality i could die of undernourishment and neglect (which is a far stretch from my life right now)... or even get a stake pounded through me, but I would still have all I need, and he gets to do whatever the heck he wants.

Disclaimer: God can use riches and "comfort" for his glory as well... but we need to get our focus on him and allow ourselves to be filled with his joy no mater where he has us.

Obviously I still have many human wants and desires... but God wired me that way, so as long as I keep it through my head that he is my all then I think he just might provide some of those things as he sees fit. 


So... I guess these are the 4 things I'm working on:

1. Getting over myself

2. Getting over my life and situation

3. Getting all over and all about my All (yup, that was a lot of "alls")

4. Giving God all of my glory, and prodding others to do the same.

welp... Good night you great big world, you. 
<3 Alanna